Conversation starters
The best conversation starters fit the situation and ask for a story, not a yes or no, like "What would you be doing tonight if you weren't here?" on a date or "Which dish on this table would you steal the recipe for?" at a dinner party. Here are 120 conversation starters for eight situations: a date, a dinner party, a party full of strangers, work, texting, an awkward silence, a family dinner and couples.
So what would you be doing tonight if you weren't here?
Heading somewhere? Switch on only that situation and draw a few openers before you go. All 120 are also listed below.
Tap the card to draw an opener for the situation you're in, and switch the others off. Below the list are tips on how to keep a conversation going once it has started.
- Openers
- 120
- Situations
- 8
- Works
- Face to face and by text
120 conversation starters for every situation
Every group is written for one situation, so the openers sound natural there. Some are questions, some are a playful line that invites a reply. Awkward silence works anywhere, and Couples is for when you've run out of things to say at home.
Conversation starters for a date
15- So what would you be doing tonight if you weren't here?
- What's the most interesting thing you've learned recently?
- What are you into right now that you could talk about for ages?
- Where do you always take friends who visit?
- What was the last thing that made you really happy?
- I always want to know this: what were you like at 15?
- Which trip are you still dreaming about?
- Okay, honest opinion on this place so far?
- What's something about you that surprises people?
- What were you obsessed with as a kid?
- What's the best part of your usual day?
- Which talent would you love to have, even if it's completely useless?
- What's the story your friends always make you tell?
- What's something you've been meaning to do for years?
- Who's the most interesting person you've ever met?
Conversation starters for a dinner party
15- What's the best meal you've had while travelling?
- Which dish on this table would you steal the recipe for?
- What's the worst dinner party disaster you've lived through?
- Which famous person would be the worst dinner guest, and why?
- What's a book or show you've been telling everyone about?
- Which tradition from your family's table do you still keep?
- What's something you changed your mind about recently?
- What's a small piece of good news you heard this week?
- What's the best place you've ever lived?
- Which old fashioned skill should everyone learn again?
- Which job would you do for one year just for the experience?
- What's a place that's much better than its reputation?
- Who's the best cook you know, and what's their signature dish?
- What's a question you love being asked?
- What's the most useful thing a stranger ever taught you?
Conversation starters for a party full of strangers
15- I love that jacket. Is there a story behind it?
- What's the best decision you made this year?
- Is this your kind of music, or are you secretly waiting for something else?
- What's the best party trick you've ever seen?
- I'm terrible with names. Tell me yours with a fact so it sticks.
- What's the plan after this, or is this the plan?
- What's the best spot in town that nobody talks about?
- What are you celebrating at the moment, big or small?
- What's the best thing on your calendar this month?
- Have you tried the food yet? I need a second opinion on the dip.
- Which room at this party has the best conversation going on?
- What do you do that you'd rather talk about than your job?
- Where would you live if your job could be done from anywhere?
- You look like someone with a good story. Prove me right.
- Settle something for me: is it rude to leave a party without saying goodbye?
Conversation starters for work
15- What are you working on this week that you actually enjoy?
- What did you want to do before you ended up here?
- What's the best thing you've read or listened to lately?
- Any plans this weekend you're looking forward to?
- What's a team tradition from an old job that you miss?
- How's your week going, on a scale from one coffee to too many coffees?
- What would you change about this office if you could?
- Which of your past jobs taught you the most?
- What's something outside work you're getting into?
- What's the most useful shortcut you know?
- What's the most useful shortcut or tool you've picked up at work?
- What was your first week here like?
- What does your perfect workday look like?
- Have you managed to get any time off this year?
- What do you wish more people here knew about your team?
Conversation starters over text
15- I just saw something that reminded me of you. Guess what.
- Quick poll: what's the best thing to eat on a rainy day?
- What song are you playing on repeat this week?
- What's been the highlight of your day so far?
- I need a recommendation: one show, no explanation.
- Rate your day out of ten, and explain the missing points.
- What's the most random thing that happened to you today?
- Tell me one good thing and one annoying thing about today.
- What are you having for dinner? I need ideas.
- If you could teleport anywhere right now, where would you be?
- Show me a photo from your week that you didn't post.
- What are you looking forward to this weekend?
- Send me a song that matches your mood right now.
- Two truths and a lie about your day. Go.
- Did you dream about anything weird last night?
Conversation starters for an awkward silence
15- Okay, I need your opinion on something completely unimportant.
- What's the best thing you've watched lately? I've run out of shows.
- Want to hear the weirdest fact I know? Then you owe me one.
- What's the funniest thing that happened to you this week?
- Where would you be right now if you could be anywhere?
- What's a small luxury you'd never give up?
- Have you been anywhere new lately?
- Who in your life always has the best stories?
- What's the best thing about this time of year?
- Which gadget or app could you not live without?
- Which podcast would you recommend to a total stranger?
- What are you planning at the moment that you're excited about?
- If you could relive one day from last year, which one would it be?
- Did you see the game, the show or the news last night? I need to talk about it.
- Be honest: what's the most overrated thing in this room?
Conversation starters for a family dinner
15- What was the hardest part of growing up when you did?
- Which family story have you told too many times? Tell it again.
- What did your first paycheck buy?
- What were you doing when you were my age?
- Which family recipe should someone learn before it's lost?
- Who in this family is most like Grandma or Grandpa?
- What's the best holiday we ever had together?
- What did you do as a kid that would shock parents today?
- How did you two meet? The real version, please.
- What's the biggest change you've seen in your lifetime?
- Who was the troublemaker growing up?
- Which family tradition should we start this year?
- Which song takes you straight back to being a teenager?
- What did you think I'd grow up to be?
- What's one thing you want the youngest person at this table to know?
Conversation starters for couples
15- What's been on your mind this week that you haven't told me yet?
- Let's plan a holiday with no budget. Where are we going?
- Which memory of us do you think about more than I'd guess?
- What did you want to say at dinner yesterday but didn't?
- If we had a Saturday with zero plans, what would you want to do first?
- What's one thing we should try together this year?
- What was your high and your low this week?
- Which couple from a show are we most like?
- What's a small habit of mine you secretly like?
- Which place from our past should we go back to?
- If we wrote a bucket list for this year, what's at the top?
- What would your 16 year old self think of our life now?
- Is there a conversation you keep meaning to have with me?
- What are you most looking forward to next year?
- What's something new you've learned about me lately?
How to keep a conversation going
A conversation starter only gets you the first minute. What happens next depends on how you listen.
- Ask about the detailPick the most specific thing in their answer and ask about that. "Lisbon" is an answer, "why Lisbon?" is a conversation.
- Share backMatch their answer with one of your own, about the same length. Conversations die when one person only asks.
- Use the story question"What happened?" and "how did that go?" turn a fact into a story. Keep them ready.
- Let silences breatheA three second pause is normal. Don't rush to fill it, the other person is often about to say something.
- Change topic on purposeWhen a topic runs dry, say so: "Okay, totally different question." It sounds confident instead of awkward.
| Works well | Avoid at first | |
|---|---|---|
| First date | Passions, travel, childhood stories | Exes, salary, long term plans |
| Dinner party | Food, recommendations, good news | Politics with people you just met |
| Party with strangers | Compliments, plans, the music | "So what do you do?" as the first line |
| Work | Current projects, past jobs, weekends | Gossip about colleagues |
| Texting | Quick polls, songs, photos | Long questions that need an essay |
| Family dinner | Old stories, recipes, traditions | Reopening old arguments |
When the whole table needs a conversation starter
In Dronk's Most Likely To, the app reads a question and everyone points at whoever fits it best. 120 questions in four packs, and every answer starts a new argument. Play on one phone or LIVE, where up to 16 people vote from their own phones.
Get Dronk free on iPhone
How to come up with your own conversation starters
The best openers come from what's in front of you. Three simple sources never run out:
- The place. The food, the music, the view, the strange painting on the wall. Everyone in the room can have an opinion on it.
- The person. Something they're wearing, carrying or just said. Ask for the story behind it.
- Your own week. "Something weird happened to me today" is an opener that almost always gets "what happened?" back.
- A good list. For more, try our random questions to ask for something light, or deep questions when the conversation is ready for it.
Questions people ask
What are good conversation starters?
Good conversation starters fit the situation and ask for a story, like "What are you into right now that you could talk about for ages?" or "What's a place that's much better than its reputation?" This page has 120 for eight situations.
What are good conversation starters for a date?
Try "What would you be doing tonight if you weren't here?", "What were you obsessed with as a kid?" or "What's the story your friends always make you tell?" Avoid exes and long term plans on a first date.
What are conversation starters for couples?
Couples need openers that break the routine: "Let's plan a holiday with no budget. Where are we going?" or "What was your high and your low this week?" The Couples group has 15 of them.
What are funny or weird conversation starters?
"Be honest: what's the most overrated thing in this room?", "Want to hear the weirdest fact I know?" or "Which famous person would be the worst dinner guest?" For more strange ones, see our random questions to ask.
How do you start a conversation over text?
Send something easy to answer in one line: "Rate your day out of ten", "Send me a song that matches your mood right now" or "I need a recommendation: one show, no explanation."
What do you say when a conversation goes quiet?
Say it lightly and change direction: "Okay, totally different question." Then use an opener from the Awkward silence group, like "What's a small luxury you'd never give up?"
Keep the night going
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